Sunday, July 31, 2005

Forbidden fruit

What would Xena do?

I have this thing for men in their late 30's to early 40's. They've lost their youthful brashness; the confidence that everything they do is without fault. They're softer to touch, even when they're bulked up by hours of weight-lifting. They're also kinder to women because by that time they've figured out what women want.

I feel like if I met someone in his late 30's, we would be able to work out our issues without trying to murder each other.

Anyway, there's this one: he's 41 and he's the husband of a colleague of mine. She (my colleague) and I used to be really close, but we hardly talk much. I think it was that time when she, I and her husband went to dinner and he said I have a nice body. I guess it was the only way he could say it because he is not a fluent English speaker. I bumped into the couple today at the entrance of the health club, as they were on their way out. I wonder if he realises that I think he's hot?

Doesn't matter. As long as I don't spend any time with him, I think I'll be okay.

...Xena would invite him to a threesome with Gabrielle.

Xena: The 10th Planet

I can't help but be amused at the news reports about the 10th planet, and particularly in the UK's Observer Newspaper. Michael Brown, a member of the team that discovered the planet reportedly said "we have always wanted to name something Xena". How dorky is that?
Actually, I feel a bit smug about it, because now my hero will become immortal.

Xena's reaction to her name being used without her permissionWhat's even more amusing is the allegation that a hacker found the information and threatened to leak it to the press. The Palomar Observatory website is so unattractive that I can't imagine someone choosing to hack the site unless it was for hacking homework.

Astronomers can't agree on Xena's classification, and some of them have got emotional over the proposed demotion of Pluto to "asteroid" status.

What's bad is that other people's children have to actually study this crap at school.

All Hail Xena, Warrior Princess!!!

vita frugalis

I had been doing the "minimalist" thing for quite a few years, but I realise that if I don't make the effort to look feminine, then I won't stand out. I just didn't care what I put on, or what I looked like, as long as I was comfortable

So, I went on a campaign to revamp my image two years ago. I wanted to look eatable and approachable, but I wanted to change in stages. I started by wearing at least two coats of mascara, and ended up wearing unreasonably high heels. I wanted to see if this new look would have different results than my previous this-is-not-really-my-body look.

I was very defensive about my transformation, and I actually stopped speaking to someone who criticised my designer mules when I tripped on a fault in the pavement on the street. I had almost injured myself, but his response was "what, you can't walk in the shoes?" (The shoes had no heels). I guess he felt that I had bitten off more than I could chew, but being a black Jamaican woman means that I should be chic.

So, I guess that one side effect is that my ego became more fragile.

Now that the makeover is complete, I get compliments every single day, I get photographed more often, and people have been increasingly obliging (especially men). However, I've had zero dates so far in these two years ago (the ignoramus above doesn't count). Strangely enough, when I didn't give a shyte what I looked like, I had no problems at all.

Having become more self-aware, I'm not sure what has changed in the appeal. I'm not about to make a guess. At least I have a good sense of humour about that and I feel good about myself.

The women are not as nice as the men because this might have hit them out of nowhere. What's worse is, they don't know what to think because I'm single, so by all appearances, I'm doing this for a man.

I get rather nasty stares every day from women under 40. Women in their 30's and 20's cling a little more tightly to their boyfriends in the mall. One of my friends has avoided me since her husband told me (in front of her) that I have a "nice body".

Besides the psychological costs, image transformations are expensive if your ass increases to twice it's original size.

Note: Only my ass has increased in size. The rest of me is the same. Unbelievable! My breasts should be growing to twice their size, not my ass!

Because of my strange shape, I can't buy anything off the rack even though I'm underweight.

I make up for all that by wearing handmade accessories, but that doesn't stop anyone from staring at my ass.

I highly recommend image transformations as a good way of finding out what the world wants from you.

Is there any such thing as the free press?

This complaint is about the Jamaica Star Forum. They have a habit of ditching posted replies to comments that don't fit into the "official line". Check the Fashion, Beauty and Lifestyle section of the web forum. In all fairness, the topics are current, and interesting, but the persons who moderate the board seem to be friends of some of the people who are discussed there.

If a post is too "hot" or controversial, someone deletes it without warning, or notice. I have seen complaints from the members of the forum in recent months, and from one of the brown-nosing administrators. What I find is that the web administrators collaborate in their criticism or praise of a particular individual who is recognised in the fashion and beauty industry.

For example, I posted a thread about a former Miss Jamaica World who is the bastard child of a Guyanese and Jamaican (the mother was married to someone else at the time). In Jamaica that is called "a jacket". It is common knowledge that she had a nervous breakdown after hearing the news. If she were disliked by the media, they would have pointed that out. What is wrong with saying that? I didn't even say her name, but EVERYONE knew who I was talking about. I won't write her name here, but if you have lived in Jamaica during the past 11 years, you will know what I'm talking about.

I will be posting my intended replies to topics on that forum on this blog.

The same goes for The Jamaica Observer. So selective in what they report. I used to work there so I know that it is a good newspaper, with good journalists, but sometimes they don't dig deeply enough.

Say NO to censorship!! Write blogs.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Theories, theories

I was watching Bride and Prejudice (on DVD) last night and I arrived at a theory about how society sees romance and happy relationships between men and women. The woman has to be beautiful but underdeveloped, undereducated and sexually uninitiated.

Look at Gerd Jarchow (former EU Commissioner to Jamaica) and Mara Mandara, the lovely customer service representative at VMBS. I know her.

She marries an EU ambassador and her status is, like, 10 grades elevated. I'm happy for her, because she deserves it. She deserves this because she is a wonderful person. However, I'm convinced that being, overeducated and focussed are not the best routes to getting married.

Not that there's anything wrong with being focussed, but look at this real-life example.

What do men really want? You suffer when you have high self-esteem, and you suffer because you don't. High self-esteem gets you a boyfriend who's an ass, and low self-esteem gets you involved with someone who thinks he's superior, but is really a piece of shyte.

I believe in this :

(a) Men need to control their spouses

(b) Men don't want to be pursued --they can make up their own minds

(c) Efficiency doesn't work for intimate relationships

However, I think that it's important for a woman to be able to think for herself. It's dangerous, because the woman can be the subject of abusive behaviour without knowing it.

Being in a semi-vegetative state for most of your marriage is not recommended. Look at what happened to Della Manley.