Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Spoilt pigs make tastier pork

I found the answer to the question: "What will 2006 bring?"

The answer is: "Moving forward".

I got my wishes for 2005. Two of them relate to my purposes for writing this blog.

The third wish is the one I'll talk about here.

It has to do with the last piece of advice I received before I left Jamaica.

It was the statement that has more or less crippled me for the better part of a decade:

"If I introduced you to the people who played in my bridge club, they would be shocked to hear you speak, as a dark-skinned person. They have no concept that a black person can speak English".

Was this bullshit, or did I spend 20+ years living and studying in Jamaica only to be told that I had just hit my ceiling? Not a day passes when I don't remember this statement, which was meant as a 'compliment'.

I'm not angry with myself anymore for listening to that bigoted gatekeeping asshole. Now I think, "does it matter?" Let him keep it.

Of course, I've screamed at quite a few people on this blog on the way to drawing that conclusion.

I thought that it would be useless writing about perceived injustices in our society because writing wouldn't help them to repair. I've seen some of the subtle changes, though. The changes were made in my mind, in a perspective I never thought I would have ever achieved.

I've seen childhood heroes crash and burn, and social outcasts step out into the limelight. But I do not wish to keep on blogging a bonfire about the fallen heroes and heroines.

I believe that I've made my point with this blog, which is that our society has manufactured "mentors" for us. "Mentors" represent ideals that each of us supposedly can never reach. No matter who we are, our society has created a symbol of perfection for us that we can never attain.

Isn't it time to vandalise the social order? It's not working for us. Is now a good time to take a sledgehammer to the wall of falsehoods that have separated us from ourselves?

This is not necessarily me giving up blogging. After my last two-year break, I came back feistier than when I first started. Will I come back? And why?

I realised that I needed a shift_ in_my_perception. I got that, and now I'm using it as a tool for mapping a different version of my life. Life as if...

Closing doors is something I've always been too good at doing. This time, I'm opening the door. The posts archived on this blog represent the process of my perception shift.

Blessings, peace and love be unto everyone.


Anonymous A said...

If your readers have any say, I'd like to tell you that your writings about injustice do make a difference. It makes a difference to other black Jamaicans, living in this country, who are lonely and looking for people to commiserate with.Looking for people who can identify with their experience and articulate thoughts and feelings they haven't put to words yet. I think you should make the best decision for yourself about how to move forward, but I want you to know that you are not writing to an imaginary audience. People who do not know you (like me)really enjoy your blog are impacted by what you say.

Thursday, January 19, 2006  
Blogger LandFall said...

Please don't go.

Thursday, January 19, 2006  
Blogger Mad Bull said...

So wait? As me link you, you lock shop?! Rasta Cart!
Alright!I going to wait a bit and see if you serious...

Saturday, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Paulo Gama said...


Tuesday, June 13, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great blog. I came through from Mad Bull's page. When are you coming back? We dont have of us blogging - please come back. Sigh....

Wednesday, September 13, 2006  

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