Sunday, December 11, 2005

Do what needs to be done: Blogging for a purpose?

I had a nightmare about climbing today. I had a fight with my archenemy (a woman). She was very powerful, and could not be hurt even though I was bashing her neck with a piece of wood. I decided to run away from her and ended up scaling a Greek statue that had been abandoned and run over by weeds. I didn't realise what it was until I found myself hugging its nose, and running my hand over its eyes. The statue was blocking the entrance to one of my favourite temples.

Don't know what the dream means, but I was just talking with a friend of mine about this blogging business, and decided to resurrect a post I had been tweaking for a week.

This is who I am. I thought about a lot of the rants I've posted here, and I realise that many of them were vengeful. Especially November. I was on a roll! I thought about those issues again, and I asked myself, "does my blog have to be squeaky clean?"

Revenge is the act of giving punishment or demanding atonement for a wrong. It is the desire to retaliate against a person or group in response to perceived wrongdoing. Although revenge may superficially resemble the concept of making things equal, revenge usually has a more injurious than constructive goal. It involves the vengeful wish to make the other person experience what one went through or otherwise to suffer severely.

I thought about those definitions, and realise that this was not the unilateral purpose of my rants. I started blogging in August, 2003, when I was being bullied by my boss and I really hated myself. Writing what I felt about other persons didn't make me feel better, and it didn't eradicate my issues either. I guess that bringing them to the surface and re-reading my thoughts made me realise just how insignificant some things are.

Revenge is personal and at times motivated by wounded honor, or anger. The emotional component of seeking revenge often leaves the seeker frustrated, unfulfilled, and angrier still. This may have been true for me but I'm not angry or unfulfilled at the moment. I wrote about that epiphany last month when I had my final dive/climb for 2005. Doesn't mean I will be less caustic, though.

As for my platform, or my agenda, I don't need one. I write what I write.

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