How to tell if your man is gay
In the spirit of discussing men who use women as "beards", or as companions who distract others from their true sexuality, I would like to give a word of warning to Jamaican women.* I think that it's really difficult for us to tell if our man is gay because our society forces them into hiding. We don't have any references for what a gay man is all about. One of my Jamaican girlfriends was in her 30's before she actually met an "out" gay person, and she was well-travelled. Just to tell you how sheltered Jamaican women can be, she thought homosexuality was a character flaw, a weakness.
I was reading a comment by Mimi Rogers on why she split with Tom Cruise. Mimi said that her instrument needed tuning, but that Tom said that he thought (a) sex interfered with his desire for purity, and that (b) he wanted to become a monk.
Just after I posted the comment on the no-sex Katie Holmes' marriage contract situation, a few things became clear to me. Of course, these are more theories.
This one tiny theory I'll talk about here. Jamaican girls, please dump your (Jamaican) man if he says the following:
I had one boyfriend who said all of the above, had a very short relationship with a guy who said (b) and knew another person who said (d). ALL of them prefer masturbation over actual sexual intercourse. They will give you every justification in the book, and they will accuse you of being the sex freak. One boyfriend (a Jamaican) called me every single night during a business trip to Europe to engage in mutual masturbation, but didn't accept my offer get on a plane to come there and fuck him. I have a normal libido (considering what's "normal" nowadays), but these guys made me feel like a nymphomaniac.
One boyfriend would sit in front of the porno channel and jack off while I was sleeping (we were living together). When I offered to help, he turned me down. Of course, I dumped him, but not before screwing everyone else to find a truly heterosexual man to date. I knew for a fact that the boyfriend had had two oral sex encounters with men between the time he was 5 and 22. He and the other acquaintance were madly in love with their hetersexual male bosses, and would talk about them all the time. I would get vivid descriptions, and quotes, and I'd be told why these people were sent by the Lord Almighty himself. Listen, a heterosexual man is supposed have hunter-gatherer instincts, so begin to ask questions when he is suddenly obsessed with being dominated by another man. More than likely, it's not a career thing...it's all about the sex.
Straight men usually do the same thing when they meet a new woman that they're having an affair with. The wife or girlfriend will hear about the new woman whether she wants to or not. The man will spend a lot of time with the new woman before deciding to leave the wife or girlfriend. That's cut and dry, but in the case of your closet gay, he can't have sex with the man because that man is not interested. It's simply a case of unrequited love that the Jamaican gay man will use to punish himself for having (illegal) homosexual tendencies in the first place. After all, it's better to fantasise about the sex than to actually get beaten to death, right?
These two guys would occasionally adopt very effeminate poses, including, and I swear, a toss-your-head-and-look-over-the-shoulder Marilyn Munro pout.
So, girls, if your man doesn't like to have sex with you, dump him. If he wants to become a monk/priest, can't stop talking about his very "masculine" boss get suspicous. If he says that jerking off alone is "safe sex", he's referring to anal sex with other men...not you. Dump. If he starts adopting Richard Simmons-like poses while you're not playing charades, run, run, run, as fast as you can!
*Disclaimer: Shaggy's girl does not condone violence against homosexuals, she just thinks the world would be a better place if they all came out of the closet.
I was reading a comment by Mimi Rogers on why she split with Tom Cruise. Mimi said that her instrument needed tuning, but that Tom said that he thought (a) sex interfered with his desire for purity, and that (b) he wanted to become a monk.
Just after I posted the comment on the no-sex Katie Holmes' marriage contract situation, a few things became clear to me. Of course, these are more theories.
This one tiny theory I'll talk about here. Jamaican girls, please dump your (Jamaican) man if he says the following:
(a) I don't like sex so much
(b) "I want to become a monk"
(c) "Why is everything about sex?" (this is only shocking if you're in an intimate relationship)
(d) "My boss is a god" (or he talks about his boss as if he's the cat's pyjamas).
I had one boyfriend who said all of the above, had a very short relationship with a guy who said (b) and knew another person who said (d). ALL of them prefer masturbation over actual sexual intercourse. They will give you every justification in the book, and they will accuse you of being the sex freak. One boyfriend (a Jamaican) called me every single night during a business trip to Europe to engage in mutual masturbation, but didn't accept my offer get on a plane to come there and fuck him. I have a normal libido (considering what's "normal" nowadays), but these guys made me feel like a nymphomaniac.
One boyfriend would sit in front of the porno channel and jack off while I was sleeping (we were living together). When I offered to help, he turned me down. Of course, I dumped him, but not before screwing everyone else to find a truly heterosexual man to date. I knew for a fact that the boyfriend had had two oral sex encounters with men between the time he was 5 and 22. He and the other acquaintance were madly in love with their hetersexual male bosses, and would talk about them all the time. I would get vivid descriptions, and quotes, and I'd be told why these people were sent by the Lord Almighty himself. Listen, a heterosexual man is supposed have hunter-gatherer instincts, so begin to ask questions when he is suddenly obsessed with being dominated by another man. More than likely, it's not a career thing...it's all about the sex.
Straight men usually do the same thing when they meet a new woman that they're having an affair with. The wife or girlfriend will hear about the new woman whether she wants to or not. The man will spend a lot of time with the new woman before deciding to leave the wife or girlfriend. That's cut and dry, but in the case of your closet gay, he can't have sex with the man because that man is not interested. It's simply a case of unrequited love that the Jamaican gay man will use to punish himself for having (illegal) homosexual tendencies in the first place. After all, it's better to fantasise about the sex than to actually get beaten to death, right?
These two guys would occasionally adopt very effeminate poses, including, and I swear, a toss-your-head-and-look-over-the-shoulder Marilyn Munro pout.
So, girls, if your man doesn't like to have sex with you, dump him. If he wants to become a monk/priest, can't stop talking about his very "masculine" boss get suspicous. If he says that jerking off alone is "safe sex", he's referring to anal sex with other men...not you. Dump. If he starts adopting Richard Simmons-like poses while you're not playing charades, run, run, run, as fast as you can!
*Disclaimer: Shaggy's girl does not condone violence against homosexuals, she just thinks the world would be a better place if they all came out of the closet.
Blogged by Shaggy's girl at 14:38
1 Comments:
Cool blog. Fi real any man watching a porno and gets the chance to have sex with a woman and turns it down is definately gay!
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