ménage à trois
The story of a bored husband looking to spice up his sex life.
Cast
Finnish seaman
Finnish seaman's Russian bride
Shaggy's Girl
Set locations
House "warming" party at hillside mansion of a close friend
Finnish seaman's home
Plot Summary
21.00 I was sitting down with a glass of coca cola, and the Russian bride falls, face down, into my lap. I'm sort of surprised because I don't even know her but she cops a feel of my right breast with her left hand. I return the favour by pulling her shirt all the way up her back to reveal a large tattoo on the small of her back. (The hostess of the party is filming the whole incident). Before this, the bride and the seaman were swallowing each other's tongues to show everyone how mad they were about each other. We had descriptions of their sex life, too. It didn't stop there, the bride went on to give her best interpretation of Elephant Man's "Jook Gal", which only revealed that she had no ass and no circular rotation through her hips. Major turn off.
22.00 The seaman says that he's too drunk to drive home, so I offer them a lift. As we were warming up in the car, the seaman says I should come over to their house to taste Russian food that his wife had prepared. I wasn't sure where this was heading (I have a dirty mind), so I asked the Russian bride what she thought, and she said it was fine. We agreed that I would just stay for a little bit.
00.00 The seaman wanted to know about my most fulfilling sexual experience, and I told him that is was with one of his countrymen. He's shocked. Finnish men are good in bed?! He asked for details: What did he do? How did he do it? I didn't give details, but I drew some comparisons with my former Jamaican lovers so he could get the big picture.
00:30 I say it's time to go home. Russian bride offers to draw me up a bath.
01.30 The Russian bride finishes preparing a relaxing bath for me in a wooden tub on their second floor balcony. The Finnish seaman, still drunk, asks the bride if he can join me and starts caressing my feet. I threw a cushion at him to get him to shut up.
02.00 I'm in bed in the guest room. They get in the tub together.
09.45 We've had breakfast, and it's time for me to leave. I can't find my way to the main road because I'm unfamiliar with the city. It was snowing too, so visibility was crap. The Russian bride looked at me with disbelief when I told her that it was only my third visit to the city. The bride rattles off in broken Finnish that the seaman should not leave the house because he has things to do at home. I tried in vain to get the seaman to draw me a map, or to give me verbal instructions. He insists on leading me out to the main road so I could find my way home. I thought his offer was genuine, so I accepted.
Review
Maybe I misinterpreted the whole thing, but the seaman had been touching me all evening. The idea of a tryst was not out of the question, but I was exhausted, he was too drunk, and I was not at all aroused by the bride. She looked scary, and this was not a pick-and-choose-the-partner situation. What was puzzling though, was her behaviour this morning. Ordering her husband not to leave the house today, even to give me directions in bad weather. Don't leave the house: Direct challenge to his ego! After all, he did have the object of his lust sleep in his home. I wonder how things would have turned out if I had engaged her in a tongue lock? That would never have happened though.
Classic case of jealousy after the "menage a trois", except that it never happened. I felt that despite her fantasies, she wasn't ready for such grownup activities.
As far as I'm concerned though, it was just an innocent sleepover.
Cast
Finnish seaman
Finnish seaman's Russian bride
Shaggy's Girl
Set locations
House "warming" party at hillside mansion of a close friend
Finnish seaman's home
Plot Summary
21.00 I was sitting down with a glass of coca cola, and the Russian bride falls, face down, into my lap. I'm sort of surprised because I don't even know her but she cops a feel of my right breast with her left hand. I return the favour by pulling her shirt all the way up her back to reveal a large tattoo on the small of her back. (The hostess of the party is filming the whole incident). Before this, the bride and the seaman were swallowing each other's tongues to show everyone how mad they were about each other. We had descriptions of their sex life, too. It didn't stop there, the bride went on to give her best interpretation of Elephant Man's "Jook Gal", which only revealed that she had no ass and no circular rotation through her hips. Major turn off.
22.00 The seaman says that he's too drunk to drive home, so I offer them a lift. As we were warming up in the car, the seaman says I should come over to their house to taste Russian food that his wife had prepared. I wasn't sure where this was heading (I have a dirty mind), so I asked the Russian bride what she thought, and she said it was fine. We agreed that I would just stay for a little bit.
00.00 The seaman wanted to know about my most fulfilling sexual experience, and I told him that is was with one of his countrymen. He's shocked. Finnish men are good in bed?! He asked for details: What did he do? How did he do it? I didn't give details, but I drew some comparisons with my former Jamaican lovers so he could get the big picture.
00:30 I say it's time to go home. Russian bride offers to draw me up a bath.
01.30 The Russian bride finishes preparing a relaxing bath for me in a wooden tub on their second floor balcony. The Finnish seaman, still drunk, asks the bride if he can join me and starts caressing my feet. I threw a cushion at him to get him to shut up.
02.00 I'm in bed in the guest room. They get in the tub together.
09.45 We've had breakfast, and it's time for me to leave. I can't find my way to the main road because I'm unfamiliar with the city. It was snowing too, so visibility was crap. The Russian bride looked at me with disbelief when I told her that it was only my third visit to the city. The bride rattles off in broken Finnish that the seaman should not leave the house because he has things to do at home. I tried in vain to get the seaman to draw me a map, or to give me verbal instructions. He insists on leading me out to the main road so I could find my way home. I thought his offer was genuine, so I accepted.
Review
Maybe I misinterpreted the whole thing, but the seaman had been touching me all evening. The idea of a tryst was not out of the question, but I was exhausted, he was too drunk, and I was not at all aroused by the bride. She looked scary, and this was not a pick-and-choose-the-partner situation. What was puzzling though, was her behaviour this morning. Ordering her husband not to leave the house today, even to give me directions in bad weather. Don't leave the house: Direct challenge to his ego! After all, he did have the object of his lust sleep in his home. I wonder how things would have turned out if I had engaged her in a tongue lock? That would never have happened though.
Classic case of jealousy after the "menage a trois", except that it never happened. I felt that despite her fantasies, she wasn't ready for such grownup activities.
As far as I'm concerned though, it was just an innocent sleepover.
Blogged by Shaggy's girl at 18:16
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