Poverty of Mind

NO culture is 100% squeaky clean, but recently I was reminded of what makes Jamaica a truly ugly society. It's not the crime, violence, bribery or drug smuggling. It's the day to day subtleties. The way a Jamaican man treats every woman. The "as yuh si mi gi mi" attitude.

Every time you reject a man's (psssst) call to come hither, the response is: "gweh gyal, yuh tink seh yuh pussy can buy mi car?"

Donna Hope wrote an excellent article on misogyny in Jamaican culture:

One should note here that patriarchy is not only male dominance in its strictest sense, but also a persistent ideology of male super-ordination that both men and women maintain consciously and unconsciously...The process, which began around the 16th century, of defining women and non-whites as savage, uncontrollable and uncivilised, provided an opening for the domestication and exploitation of these groups.

Carolyn Cooper says that Jamaican " men are stereotyped as dog-hearted predators stalking potential victims." I disagree with her use of the term "stereotyped", because she does not account for the dog-hearted predators who are out there.

Did I have any experiences with men who tried to cut me down to size? I've had quite a few that I'll share here.

Incident A
Six months ago, an ex-lover from UWI calls me one night, and starts talking to me as if we had a relationship. I say to him that relationships need a little more nurturing than he has been giving. His reaction? To laugh at me and cluck like a rooster, saying that men should never date women who are intellectually superior to them. Huh? I stand up for myself and I'm expressing my emotional needs and suddenly I become an intellectual. Bizarre.

Incident B
A pompous asshole I met at UWI, asked me to teach him to use a computer. He feels foolish because he doesn't know how to hold the mouse. His response? Instead of listening to me, he talks to the guy at the other terminal and says how you should never learn anything from a woman, especially if he wants to screw her later.

Incident C
I'm at the printers in New Kingston trying to get some business cards printed. I'm waiting patiently at the counter, then one of my ex-flings walks into the lobby. He gets served first, and the counter clerk is showing him her breasts while her face is inches from his. I softly remind her that I'm waiting for my order to be completed. Ex-fling turns around and says: "Basically, you talk too much".

Incident D
I had wrapped up a seminar presentation for my master's. Ex-boyfriend shoves a published letter to the editor of the Jamaica Gleaner under my nose, just to prove to me that he could write. (He was a therapist with a thriving private practice). Then he ignored my full-page articles in the same edition of the paper, saying that he never has time to read newspapers.

In summary, male-female relations are dominated by violence which is forced into dormancy by a woman's acquiescence to her man's whims and fancies. So glad I'm not caught up in that.