Misguided Issues about Bad women

I'm so bored with Jamaican men who pontificate about women who are "loose" and "bad". Yeah, yeah. This is a well-chewed argument by the men in our society who are desperate to control women's sexuality.

I don't believe that a Jamaican man can stay faithful to his wife/girlfriend, physically or emotionally. Jamaican men will swear on their mother's grave that they are monogamous, even while they're caught in the act. If possible, they lie to the other women, to get them in bed or tell them up front that "look, you are going to be my outside woman, zeen?"

One of my close friends says that he's monogamous, yet he is having sex with three women at the same time. He thinks he's monogamous because the sexual encounters are not happening simultaneously. So many stories, so little space.

Tony Robinson is misguided in the belief that he is an expert on "bad girls" and their emotional needs. Men speaking about women's issues and polarising women such that they can't win. Male domination rears it's ignorant head. I can't think of a developed society in which such a concept makes sense. Tony's moniker "Daddy Oh" is befitting of someone who is out of touch with the times. Here is some of what he wrote:

The life of the bad girl isn't what it's cut out to be, as even though they're sought after, desired by men, yearned after, it's not usually for a long-term relationship. But bad girls need love too. The irony is, men will say that they want a bad girl, and they really do, but the usual phrase is, "Hey man, only for a good time, remember, some you settle down with and some you just lick and run". Now that's so sad.

So even though they may look hot and sexy, healthy body and lusty, it's often a sad, lonely life for a bad girl. "I got what you want, you got what I need, I'll be your baby, come and spend it on me, sad girls, bad girls."

Really? I think the so-called bad girl should be the one to discuss her own experiences with the public. She should be the one to talk about her own emotional issues, if she has any.

It's ignorant to insinuate that having a partner in one's life is a good thing. Having a good partner is a good thing, but the concept that "any man will do" is one of the reasons that many Jamaican women are getting shafted in love.

Let's consider women who don't want to have a man encroaching on their physical and emotional space. Does she have a category? Rather, should we place her in category, or is she to be excluded from our society because she does not buy into the male domination dogma? Women have chosen other options for how to live their own lives. To a large extent, sex is now a lifestyle choice, and not an obligation.

Why does a man have to factor in at every turn?

Tony is misguided if he thinks that "long-term relationship" = "woman's happiness". Come on, there is so much a woman can do now to have a fulfilling life. Before, we had to trade our bodies just so we could eat. Having children was our task in life. After that, we were dispensible. We could die, and no-one would write about us. Now we can have choices for personal fulfilment. It is no longer a truism that all little girls want to be someone's wife when they grow up. It is no longer necessary for this to be the goal in a woman's life.

I also disagree with this statement of his:

I spoke to some good girls who were lamenting the fact that they had no men, while others had men but the men seemed bored with them, had lost interest, had no passion for them.

What, now good girls can't be good in bed? Rubbish. Sexual intercourse is not just a physical activity. It's a social skill. It's a marketing tool. Most people even consider it a form of entertainment.

I know of women who've been monogamous and sexually adventurous with their husbands. There are other women who market their sexual attractiveness in local beauty pageants so they can get the edge on finding wealthy husbands. Many Jamaican men pay to get "serviced" at massage parlours every day even though they have wives and girlfriends at home.

The way I see it, a woman who wants to shag a guy she just met because she likes him should go ahead and do it. She isn't trying to get money or status out of the exchange, and she's freely sharing her body. If the man wants it too, it's not fair that the woman alone should receive negative judgement.

When I consider a woman's physiology, it's difficult to think of a vagina as being offensive. It's a very discreetly positioned organ. Unless he's a virgin, Tony should know that it is physiologically impossible for to look at the vagina and penetrate it at the same time. In pornographic film, penetration is the highlight of every scene. Why? It's not something that the man can see when he's having intercourse, so he might watch porn because he's interested in knowing what's happening.

Tony is pontificating about one set of outdated rules while the women he's talking about are playing a completely different game.

More time, Daddy Oh!