Don't date married men...my soap saga

Shaggy's girl met a strange married person once. He told me he was 36, but looked at least 53. He had been married for 15 years, and his wife had four children. Tall, rather round in the middle, with a very round face that looked aged because his features just popped out of it. I have nothing against plus sized men, of course, but this one looked more like a pale, pop-out version of Don Creary.

He said that he had only ever had sex with his wife, and that he wanted to know what it would be like to have sex with another woman. Plus, he said that he had already discussed the issue with her (she had had other sex partners before they got married) and she said it was okay. I guess he resented her for having had a sex life before him. Is this a guy thing? Being freaky, I offered to help.

It didn't quite work out as we would have liked because I wasn't attracted to him. That means, I wouldn't let him touch me. So, no sex or intimate anything.

To make matters worse, his wife was stalking him. She only let him out of the house with train fare.

Then, he didn't have the confidence to make an advance, so we never had sex at all. (Thank goodness). I dumped him because he was just too pathetic. That, plus I didn't want to be seen with an ugly, budget-restricted married man whose wife is controlling his every move.

Day 1
Well, first I was almost attacked at a cocktail party by a rather ugly white girl who wanted to know how we met. She either attacked me because she guessed what I was up to, or she was mad because her husband and her friend's husband were salivating over me. Now they were hot.

Our first night was crazy. I vomited my guts out because I hadn't taken my hormone/anti-nausea meds at the right time. How romantic. He said he was nervous, so he didn't touch me.

I watched him undress, and I decided I wasn't attracted to him at all. A guy must have brains plus a decent body, like Ax. I shouldn't be the only one who's paying attention to my appearance.


Days 4 - 10
Then, we started spending time together...going for walks in the park. Or he followed me around while I shopped. Then days later, his wife told him she was going to school to learn aromatherapy.

Shortly after that he would out to see me by train only, and he would only have the exact train fare. Once he followed me to get a tattoo, and he didn't have the correct change to take the train home, so I had to give him some money. Uh, huh.

A few days later, he offered to accompany me to my ceramics studio, where I was planning to package and ship some of my work overseas. At the train station, his wife called his mobile to ask him exactly where he was and exactly what he was doing. Goodness gracious.

Day 11
The final straw for this rather strange relationship was when he insisted on looking at my passport, and then he laughed at my passport picture. In public. That's when I just dropped him.

No sex has transpired at this point.

Day 13
His wife invites me to a dinner party, and then to a day of fun and games with the kids at a theme park on the Gold Coast. I said no. I knew she would freak out if she met me. I was about 1/3 her body size, twice as tall and far more exotic, with my dark skin.

When he realises that I want nothing to do with him, he sends me an e-mail requesting that I return his mobile phone (that he bought me as a gift). I asked him why he didn't try to sleep with me. He said he didn't know how to ask.

I kept the mobile phone. He can go to hell.